Get up, dress up , show up.

  Get up, Dress up, Show up.

So a lot has happened since my last post about my adneo/endo. 10/13/16. 1.5 years, 18 months, 78 weeks, 548 days give or take. I have had up days and down days. As everyone does. I have tried to get on and blog about what I was going through but it was just too hard.

  When I had the surgery I was working at CVS. I loved my job and everything I did for the company and my managers above me. CVS gave me a confidence I never had before. After the surgery though things changed. I was still heart broken and it was starting to affect my work and home life. I would cry everyday before work and literally stay in bed until I absolutely had to get up. Then on top of that my child care was not working out. So my husband said it was enough.

  I was off work for a bit and was trying to heal. Although after the surgery I started drinking on a regular basis. I used to enjoyed a few beers with my best friend on the weekends and we would watch movies and such. It was around the same time that I lost her. I lost her as my friend. She had not been there with me through the surgery or healing at all. By the time I left my job I was drinking every night and I heard through other people that she had moved away.

  An opportunity came up through a salon I had worked at before. It was just what I needed. I love doing hair. I love making people happy but, I was still drinking.
   My husband was starting to worry. I was always up for the kids and everyone always had clean clothes but I was still drinking. One night I had drank way too much. There I was 33 years old having a relapse praying to the porcelain god alone.  It took me a few days to level back out. I decided it was time to try and help my self.
This is how I saw it.
  If I could make it through one day then I could try another day.
  If I could make it through a week why not two.
  why not three?
It was not easy. It hurt. I couldn't sleep. I had the shakes. I cried and couldn't stop rocking.
   I made it 23 days. I didn't feel that I needed it to sleep anymore. I was not numb anymore. I could really see the amazing things if front of me I was trying to blur. I did a lot of talking, to anyone who would listen. It helped.

   I am still struggling with depression. Now I take it one day at a time. One day in my sadness I came across a few motivational pictures on Pinterest . They said "No matter how you feel, Get up, Dress up, Show up, and never give up! It really spoke to me. I started making my own pictures and sending them to my husband. It has really made a difference for me. Even if I feel crappy and don't want to get out of bed. I have to. For my kids, my husband, my chickens, dogs, cat, For myself. Some days are easier than others and they show in the pictures. Hope you enjoy them. Maybe you could try it too..